Coincidentally, I am reading Nelson Mandela’s “Long Walk to Freedom” (1994) , and reaching the part where he went through a very rough time in his life, and was about to divorce his first wife. This is what he wrote:
“I wondered – not for the first time – whether one was ever justified in neglecting the welfare of one’s own family in order to fight for the welfare of others. Can there be anything more important than looking after one’s ageing mother? Is politics merely a pretext for shirking one’s responsibilities, an excuse for not being able to provide in the way one wanted?” (Mandela, 1994: 212).
In “Creating Minds” (1993), Howard Gardner studied seven highly creative people: Gandhi, Einstein, Freud, Stravinsky, (Martha) Graham, (T.S.) Eliot, and Picasso and revealed that in their personal lives and relationships, these otherwise geniuses were treating their families and friends from “disregard to simply sadistic”. Einstein just wanted to be left alone to do his work, whereas Picasso was driving several people into psychological trauma and suicides. (!) According to Gardner, these highly talented, top of the crops human seemed to think that they might not be able to achieve what they had in their lives without the luxury of time and unnecessary ‘distractions’ of normal family and social lives.
But I’m wondering whether certain disciplines are also more prone to what
Do you think there is such a thing as a Faustian bargain between work and family (or social) lives? If so, do you think this spreads across the disciplinary board? Or, are certain disciplines more prone to it than others? And, to bring up and rephrase Mandela’s question: Is it ever justifiable? Or is work merely a pretext?
4 comments:
saya kurang tau di disiplin ilmu lain yah bu..tapi kecenderungan arsitektur untuk mendorong seseorang mengacuhkan kehidupan sosialnya mungkin sudah bisa dibuktikan dengan nyata...saya ambil contoh fakta dari orang di sekitar saya...3 teman saya putus dengan pacarnya ketika mau ujian akhir studio...saya pun pernah mengalaminya dan dari tahun ke sangat jarang ada mahasiswa arsitektur yang bisa tetap bersama kekasihnya dalam waktu lama karena tidak ada yang tahan betapa kuliah kita begitu menyita waktu kita sehingga kita tidak punya waktu untuk mereka...sampai saat ini yang benar-benar putus dengan alasan "arsitektur" itu sudah hampir 1 lusin bu...dan itu terjadi setiap semester...mengagumkan bukan? dan fakta lain membuktikan, teman-teman saya di jurusan lain tidak mengalami hal seperti itu...bahkan di DKV pun kejadian seperti itu tidaklah sebanyak itu...arsitektur masih pegang rekor...
mungkin contoh saya ini masih "cheesy" sekali bu...tapi saya hanya mencoba mengangkat apa yang dekat dengan keseharian saya..
ada harga untuk semua hal?? pasti..tapi apa harga itu pantas? itu relatif...seperti belakangan betapa saya jauh dari keluarga saya karena tugas-tugas saya...itu harga yang menurut saya agak terlalu mahal untuk dibayar...tapi apa saya menyesal? jawabannya tidak...
bagaimanapun saya masih pegang prinsip saya bahwa "family comes first more than anything..."
this may not mean that architects are particularly prone to the faustian bargain though. in other words, it could simply indicate that architects (or architects-wanna-bes) are hopeless people when it comes to relationship! ha..ha..
but i guess the factor of time does make it difficult for architecture students to spare time socially. don't worry, this would change for most once you go into the profession. work demand for graphic and branding designers are worse than for architects, generally speaking.
like u always know too, how I am a hopeless romantic person too...hhe..
someway, in my discussion with my lecturer this afternoon, the problem maybe not just about the knowledge nor the field of work...it's more about the person..some people that decided to be the part of architecture have the intention to love it too much (way too much actually) and become addicted to it...some people become a knowledge-seeker, they will keep on pursuin the "truth" about this, theoritically basically, not practically...in the other hand..some people really love the work...become an awful workaholic but what he/she pursue isn't about the profit but about how they really love and enjoy their work..how they really love that specific field...but as the consequences...they have the intention to "forget" about their social life...
so, how can it be?? i really wonder...is it about the field of knowledge or??
yeah, i do think architecture is probably one of the discipline areas that requires a lot of passion, dedication, and hard work. and this is not easily discernible by other people.
but i guess there will always be part of oneself that others just don't get to understand.
it seems that the more straightforward relationship between hard work and income generating field of work may determine other people's ease of understanding when it comes to spending time between work and family. those who work hard not for the money are not as easily understood i guess.
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