On Dreams

It's not
What you thought
When you first began it
You got
What you want
Now you can hardly stand it though,
By now you know
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
It's not going to stop
'Til you wise up
…
So just give up

Wise Up, Aimee Mann (Magnolia, 1999)

More than five years ago, when I decided to return to Indonesia and focus my work in the field of education, I read a book that inspired and captured the essence of what I thought I would love doing. The book, “One Day, All Children …”, was written by Wendy Kopp, the founder of Teach for America.

Teach for America is a teacher corps inspired by the Peace Corps. It recruits the best of recent college graduates in the United States and places them as teachers for two years in some of the worst public schools in inner urban and rural America to help improve the quality of education in these schools.

Over these past few days, I reread the book, and went over the sentences that I underlined five years ago which, in retrospect, still rang true at present. As I was reading it, I could still feel a fire burning inside me – mixed with a regretful pang that I am nowhere near where I envisioned myself to be. What went wrong?

Kopp started out the organization at 21. Like most recent college graduates, she was idealistic, ambitious, and full of energy. And she started big: her aim was to raise USD 2.5 million, recruited 500 graduates from top universities, and placed them in several parts of America within a year. She poured her life to realize her vision. The reality of realizing a dream, like most of us know through experience, is far from easy. But she persisted, found the supports she needed, and made it.

Starting big was the one thing I didn’t do. I don’t mean to say that I didn’t get anything. On the contrary, I learnt and experienced a lot. Most of the time, I had been happy and content with my small dreams. But now I am drained of any energy to even continue my small dreams. So I have decided to wise up, and give up my small dreams. I will start plunging and paddling myself to realize my bigger dream. I hope the course of life would not stray me into the comforts of small dreams again.

Reality wears down small dreams.

ADDED:
What's your dream? And where are you in respect to that dream? What do you think is the biggest hurdle in realizing your dream?